well, i feel like shiiiiiitttt as per usual. for several reasons really. first is my lovelife. it is nigh non-existant. the reason: i suck. a lot of people have been telling me this isnt true but ive really seen too much evidence against that to believe it. first, the majority of my exs got bored of me and ditched me out of hand. second, every time ive had a crush on a girl that isnt one of my exs, they have FREAKED THE FUCK OUT about it.
to make matters worse i havent been able to sleep because of all the nightmares ive been getting. specifically, one really painful one that keeps repeating itself. i hate it... if i could i would kill it with fire.
oh, and i have exams this week... joy.
still havent found anywhere to play yugioh.
most of my friends up here are preoccupied with other stuff.
and theres even more stuff but this still needs to be discussed with people before i say anything.
so yeah, life is fun.

well, im at uni. tis awesome. i've met new friends, though only one person i can really confide in and she isnt around alot of the time.
my course is somewhat awkward. 9-5 on mondays and thursdays, 2-6 on tuesdays. i like it though. even though i have a VERY basic maths class. i mean, seriously? standard index and straight line graphs?
social life is a bit odd. as pretty much everyone that watches me knows, im single. details are pretty much out in the open for anyone that wants them so i wont bother with details. new friends are fun though... a quick list:
Diana - lives across the hall. short ecuadorian, loud but really nice and fun to hang around with
paroma - quiet, lives at the end of the hall. we have yet to provoke any sort of negative emotion from her.
Anthony - from hong kong, awesome dude, but leaves mess in the kitchen
lottie- social butterfly. knows everyone and does everything. very busy but shes the only person i trust to confide in.
Pat - average gamer... likes football though :(
Jana - from germany... my lab partner, really chatty but quite smart.
Emmilene - my height, slightly nerdish. very bubbly and nice.
tom - my fellow firefly fan. and warhammer geek. amazingly creative.
alex - the philosopher. dresses smart, listens to VERY heavy music.
Elliot - rides a unicycle. very intelligent and an amazing guy
Max - the only phd student i know. smarter than most, sings well, unicycle jousts with elliot. runs the bar.

anyways, they're all fun. i've joined the scifi and fantasy society, the rock society, the anime society... was going to do fencing, but too expensive. oh, and the chemsoc... obviously. watched howls moving castle tonight :)

came back to cornwall last weekend though... twas fun. pulled naomi, becky coad and rhiannon... saw naomi, rhiannon and alex's boobs to. funfun. truth or dare is always fun. becky nearly had a heart attack about it a few days ago. i cant imagine shaw was too pleased. i also dressed up as a crusader :D.

what else? the food is good here. tescos not too far away and i'm getting a railcard so i can come back more often :).

all in all, lifes about average

well, i've been in reading uni for about four hours now... it is amazing: the campus rocks, my room is awesome (though i will have to find a different one to transfer 2 on dint of i only get to stay here 30 weeks so i'd have to move my stuff somewhere else which would be difficult.

a helpful 2nd year called amy helped me out with moving in and dan and his mates were there two. this combination may have been a bad idea. he flirted with her alot, and being the only person I know here that has any idea of whats going on, i may need her help in the future too.

I nearly got lost on the campus! its so big and green! its just as good as surrey campus X)

just discovered that i don't actually have the word file for paladin rising anymore, just the pdf. unless anyone knews a good pdf converter, i now have to type the whole thing out again.

at least i have something to do in the summer.

wait a sec.... something has changed a bit...

oh dear... 41st out of 45 isn't quite as good as 60th out of 80 but i did win more matched this time round... problem was that so did everyone else. we also kind of shanghaied jen into playing. she came last but she did win one of her rounds and beat my yubel deck once in a fair fight (though i was not amused that i had to go against her at all). chewy came 12th, once again the highest on the team.

i always thought i'd end up being pretty much the only one who ran a Yubel deck at a tournament... i was wrong. there were 3-4 of us. i was not happy. steve ran one, which is annoying because it is quite possible he stole the idea from me though not certain. on the upside tim, who nearly ran afoul of my yubel deck last time, dropped his dark armed dragon deck to run it. i like to think i gave him the idea for that :)

also, since we got jen to come play cards with us, she took me to watch high-school musical performed by the performing arts group. i did enjoy a few bits in it which leaves my masculinity in tatters. this, however, pales in comparison to the fact that jen got to sleep around mine! yay!!!!!

jen, i love you so much. *hugs*. spending time with you was perfect. just don't worry about my social life... i can have friends without having to go out :)... besides, calling a yugioh tourney part of a social life would be foolish lol

went by without much notice from me.no parties in bodmin aside from those wandering drunks on the streets. i really wish that party goers would stay at the fucking party rather than cause chaos in the streets. i didn't get to see jenni because she was babysitting last night and is spending today with her family, par for course.

oh, and i have exams coming up and it really matters what i get now. so i have to revise, oh whoop de doo. christmas was pretty boring for me. just like any other day but the food was better and my gran and uncle were here, which was nice but i'm fairly sure christmas is over for me until i have kids(i pray that day never comes). oh well.

ordered new parts for the pc so it works better. new graphics card and 2GB of ram, one of which has now been actually sent and is on the way.

some of you also know that i'm a bit of a writer... that's going tits up as well. can't really do anything at the moment. digestive system is on the fritz again too.

meh, i give up.

about a month ago I had some PC world tech guys fix my pc on the extended warranty. the power supply had died and the fan was dodgy. so they put in a new power pack and a new fan. the new powerpack was only half plugged in and the fan is missing two fairly important cables and is blatantly not spinning.

some of you will be asking a very important question.

how did i not notice before?

YAY! Have that! I have an unconditional offer for Surrey university! I'm think I'm the only one in the year so far to have an unconditional. so it no longer matters what grades I get because if I turn up next year I'm in. how awesome is that!

so much for coursework pressure!

i am very, very happy at the moment lol

nothing like parents to undo all the good work seeing jenni did for my mood.

well, first things first: I don't like sixth form parties. to be honest, I didn't really want to go in the first place. the first hour or so was amusing and then it just got shit... as sixth form parties are prone to do.

coursework deadline almost here. that's very, very annoying. about 15 days left.

also very bored this weekend. I have a driving lesson I don't want in about 2 hours. I have just had a generally terrible couple of days.

should get better tomorrow though... i get to see jenni again :) that always makes me happy

well, first conditional offer. reading has given me a conditional offer, and i can get in as long as i have over 260 points from at least 2 GCE's. i already have a chemistry C which is 100, perspectives is 60, worst case scenario i get an E in bio and physics is still another 120 points together. FTW!

okay, many many things.

course work is hanging over me again. it sucks. 'nuff said.

UCAS application is gone(w00t) but it does mean i have to go to surrey and sheffield for interviews. piss. the train tickets cost alot and my EMA has been delayed... the little fuckers.

on a side note, i'm falling more and more in love with jen every second. she is awesomes :D

you had to be there for my physics teachers nipples, seriously.

meep.

reading daywatch - tis awesomesauce.

and a pigeon committed suicide on my window. there is a large greasy patch and a seed splatter to the left of it on my window and the corpse tumbled onto seb's garden. luckily, it was a very quick death so i didn't have to put it out of its misery and instead i laughed.... but that may have been a piece of my soul falling off.

much love xx

jen said she missed my posts so i am now posting again. my friday was awesome. me and jen watched holy grail and then spent a few hours hanging out. it was great. i hear many, many things about anna's party and while it sounds fun i'm sort of glad i didn't go. drunkness is always messy lol.

tis the three month mark for me and jen :D i got her some earrings on friday. i love her so so so much :D

what else have i done recently? bought 2142 but it lags like hell on my pc... learning to drive is going smoothly (no more angry lorries), we're kind of tempting jen further into yugioh (mwhahahahaa!), ainsley may be getting his hair cut soon :( (WHY!?), and lots of other very random stuff :)

and my will to type has dissipated. laters xx

mmmm........ relentless tastes soooo much better when you need it.

anyways, today was pretty damn cool. first lesson consisted of pool and cards. break was nice. second lesson was mostly uni speak which was awesomes. then i had third/best lesson. my only free with jen. not only that, its the two month mark for our amazing relationship. so we went to hang out at resprin and have a celebratory picnic. it was amazing. then jen came back to mine for movies and such. it was an friggin brilliant day. i love her so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much :D

well, this week has been rather cool. its nice being back at school again. the common room is possibly my favourite place aside from my bedroom. I love it. we've already started up yugioh again. has been good getting that hobby back. I've also met a few new peeps. mostly matt's friends. have only played pool once though... which kinda sucks.

still, my lessons are the shiz. the only bad lesson i have is with dr. britton. but that said, it is quantum physics so i don't mind it so much. philosophy is great. it is the only lesson you can do better at if you are drunk lol. i do plan on, if i have an exam on it on a day where i have no other exams, to be at the pub before i go.

coursework and ucas are pains though. got to find all my old certificates and crap for my university application. meh. and i've got 3 weeks till coursework deadline. eep.

spent awesome time with jen on Friday. love that girl to pieces. was a little shocked she now has a dA account but tis cool. aside from that, life as usual.... except happier.

oh, and i figured out how to get most of my stuff back from the computer crash... Lulu.com still had a digital version of paladin rising after the prelim edit and the new zune update means i can pinch all of my old music back off of my zune... awesomes.

wednesday... oh dear. it's annoying because i worry about it. ainsley kept cracking end of the world lines at me, mock the week and horizon didn't do much to help either. for those of you who don't know, next wednesday the hadron collider at CERN gets switched on. there's a tiny chance that the experiment will make strangelets that will hit critical mass (i.e. make a black hole.)

when i say tiny chance i mean to the point its not worth worrying about. i, however, have a worrysome nature. it bugs the hell out of me.

anyways. on to good stuff. i spent yesterday with jen :) that always makes me happy.

not much else has happened really.

Well, today has been good. I haven’t had any of those evil morbid thoughts and there hasn’t been anything to upset me. Though, that said, jen has been a little off today because of a few things and I really wish I could help but aside from being there for her and letting her know she has all of my love there isn’t much I can do.

I had biology today. I have two weeks to do the coursework which, thanks to jen, I can now start work on. I can’t wait for my philosophy and ethics class. Tis a shame I have to miss the first lesson.

Oh well. Nighty night, I’m off for writing spree.

how do i put it... i feel like shit. went back to school today. it was okay but i missed philosophy and ethics but physics was still on. i now have microsoft word now, yay :) this means i can get back to writing. that should make me feel less worthless.

i think that's why i feel off. today seems like a total waste. i don't know why. i bet discovering my stupid lessons are exactly when jen has frees is contributing to it though. i thought: "school, a chance to see jen without the interference from her parents" and i was wrong. i get to see her breaks and tutor and friday last lesson. that is all. break andtutor counts for something but sometimes i just want to be alone with her because then we actually focus on each other.

but that isn't all of it by a long shot. i've just been having morbid thoughts all day. everything i do just makes my life in general feel more and more pointless. the worst thing is that, considering my place in the grand scheme of things, i don't have much of a case against that. hell, i don't even know why i'm typing this, i just feel a need to type and stuff.

meh.

well, i feel the need to rant again. soul calibur is an awesome game, but there are some major bad points. if ye wish not to know of my nerdery, look away now.

my biggest pet peeve is not actually part of the game but is more some of the people that play it. i don't mind people that use their favourite characters all the time online. this is okay. whoreing one character because he/she has one attack you can do repeatedly that has high power, doesn't miss often, you can't be touched while doing and can do again immediatly afterwards (cerevantes whores, you know who you are) and then using only that move over and over and over to win just ruins the game for your opponent. which brings me to my second pet peeve.

kilik, yoda and cerevantes. kilik's ability to slowly prod your opponent to death by using his long pole just like i stated above. yes, he has close up too. shame no one ever uses it. yoda, this character should never have existed in SC4. its terrible. you can't hit him with most horizontal attacks. you cannot use grapple attacks. he can dodge most verticle attacks. this leaves kicks, low attacks and the off chance verticle hit. kick, most of the time, will be blocked by a decent yoda player, low attacks are very low power for every character except taki and there are no combos and an off chance isn't a good thing. cerevantes: halo had weapon horders, SC4 has cerevantes. that attack i mentioned in my first point? yep, this guy. seriously. he jumps up in the air higher than you can reach, smashes down with a thunder bolt and immediatly repeat. i hate anyone that uses this tactic. i wish your xbox 360 to contract RRoD for your offences to decency.

my third pet peeve is another online peeve. the leveling up system. even halo was better than this one. you have to accumulate enough xp to fill the bar, fair enough. you then have to win the next match. this isn't so bad, but if you lose the next match you get a small penalty of 10 points out of 400-500. this small penealty means you have to win one match to get back to full xp and then another in a row to level up. so, two matches in a row without getting matched to a character whore or a massively skilled player (my first match was against a level 34... so yeah, you get some unfair matches.) or you accidentally fall out of the ring or make a mistake. yeah, that's gonna happen often.

my last is some of the graphics and physics flaws. there are a few minor graphics glitches with clipping on certain pieces of equipment i.e. taki's dagger poking through its sheath, part of someones face poking through their mask ect. ect. the worst one is with, yep, you guessed it, yoda. i've seen some of my sword swipes go right through him with no damage. nice one.

there, bitch session over. i've actually had a good day today, assuming you're still reading. i had a good driving lesson with bay parking and 3-point turns and i had a nice conversation with jen on msn. she's awesome.

night night.